March 30, 2021
It’s late or maybe it’s early. I lay in an unfamiliar bed staring at the full moon through the upstairs window. Shadows dance as my husband snores and I try to rest. Because I’m bone weary tired like I’ve never been before, but I can’t seem to turn off my racing mind.
I shake my head and glare at the moon. If sleep would come I could escape if only for an hour or two. How can I be so tired and full of energy all at the same time? Throwing off the covers I make my way to the back porch.
Up and down I pace. What just happened? Is it possible to wake up from this nightmare? Do we have enough insurance? My great grandmother’s quilt… Ronni’s wedding dress… my Bibles. The pearls my mother gave me… the baby bed where all my children slept. Do I have any clothes for tomorrow? Where will we live?
I think of dancing with the youngest in the kitchen just a few days ago.
Back and forth, back and forth… the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
My mind stills but my feet keep moving. The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.
With each step I try to focus. What’s the next part? I can’t remember the next part!
Over and over I begin again… The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.
I’ve heard these words thousands of times. Why can’t I remember them!
The moon casts tree shadows in the yard. Horses snort and cattle bellow in the distance. Words return.
Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil. Your rod and staff they comfort me. You set a table before me in the presence of my enemies and anoint my head with oil. My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
I walk a bit taller and let holy words sink deep. I come to the end of the porch and speak aloud to the full moon. Or maybe the whole wide world.
The Lord is my shepherd. I do not lack one thing!